Wednesday, January 30, 2008


I know my entries are normally quite serious and only involve my own music. Sometimes though, I like to recognize the kind of genius that comes around once in...well...we probably won't see one this brilliant until Christ Returns.
So with that, the greatest song I've heard in the past month.
I know many of you have probably already heard it. I live in a shell.
(Anyone that makes YahBAGAHRHALGHABA into a hook is someone that I look up to for real inspiration, musically and spiritually)

Marriage II

Towards the latter end of two years, Grace started to get sick. She died quietly in her sleep with Andy at her side.
That night, Andy produced a sandwich for her that she claimed to be unable to eat. This caused a sharp and dense sensation of fear to travel from Andy's chest to his stomach.
"I'm going to take a nap for the moment. Then I think I can eat." Grace said in a weak and wavy tone.
Andy collapsed to the side of the bed. The wooden floor made him feel cold so he took Grace's hand and pressed it to his cheek. The cold way of her own hand surprised Andy. He removed it from his cheek and tucked it under the sheets with the rest of her body.
His thoughts then started to drift. He felt guilty when he started contemplating the outcome of the Royals game. He wondered why this was still important to him as the woman he loved lay dying.
He too fell asleep. Around Seven o'clock the next morning, he turned to see if Grace woke up and ate the sandwich he had made. She did not. The sharp and dense sensation started to rise in him again. His last thoughts were not of her but of the game. It was so stupid to think that way. Time slipped away and, though he tried to rationalize the situation as being out of his control, he still felt so bitter.

days run away i_ smirnov.mp3

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∞ BEAVER!!!!!


04 i thought love was supposed to feel light.mp3

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Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Andy felt blessed. The harvest went well this year and he was in love. God bless this untouched stretch of clean air and silence. Decades prior to his birth the land was fought over by his Great Grandfather and three other men.
Unlike his peers, Andy's love was not separated by Aunts and Uncles, but by distance and coincidence. Andy's love goes by the name of Grace. She used to live in Indie and, though she'd rather avoid it, she soothes Andy's curiosity by assuring him that "...though it's a beautiful place, it's no more beautiful than what we call home."
After many efforts to produce a child, the couple made their way to the closest physician who resided in a town twelve miles out from their estate. Upon arriving, the doctor told Grace that she was unable to bear a child. Andy didn't mind this as he never really liked the process of producing a child to begin with.

days run away xi_ marriage.mp3

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Just incase I don't post later

Album Art For Days Run Away

As the more normal life that she once knew was changed forever at a young age, she longed for innocence. A parallel ensued as, with our young age, our perception of innocence and a coherent youth was too fractured.

Thalassophobia: (psychology) An abnormal fear of the sea/ocean.

New Track
A bit darker
Cover art involves photo of Greenland from plane
and a member of the Dolphins

New track is
Days Run Away XI: Rocky, Hard, Rise, Center (He Saw Me Through The Window)

11 days run away xi_ rocky, hard, rise, center (he saw me through the window).mp3

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My Hand/My Father

It gets harder for me to properly communicate with people every day. Since late summer of 2007, it's been an increasing concern of mine as I soon realized that much of the work I'll do ultimately racks up to connections. Various peers of mine frequently get to work on exciting projects out of their talent, social ability or financial situation. And though I'm not sulking about my lack of talent or insecurity, it's still frustrating to note that my ability to properly socialize/communicate has been on something of a decline. Further to the point, when confronted with Social Scenarios (as rare as they are) I bottle (or clam up, as I love sea life so much) to a point of a nauseating kind of confusion. Paranoia soon strikes me as I wonder if I've been caught up in something of a McShane family curse (few and far between are those of the McShane clan that remain sane. The McShanes are my mothers side of the family).
"It's when I either look at my hand or my father" I said over Chinese food.
"Strange, it's often when I look at my dad as well" my friend replied.
What it, or that, is, is this feeling of one's legitimacy as a real entity. I will not explain in full depth what it is out of fear of sounding like I'm either clamoring for attention or realizing the truth that I may have a few screws loose in my head.
All's well that ends well.
I believe I belong in Europe. Or Asia. I wish to be in Greenland. Isolation and Safety, small population. I want to embrace people.

Frustrations also come in fear or rejection of creative peers involved in the same art form. So many are more worthy. Just as many are less (though I have no right to speak of the latter). I fall in limbo all the time with regards to this statement. That's for another day.

days run away iv_ days run away.mp3

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I had not yet entered into the blog the title track of the Days Run Away series.
Here it is.
Days Run Away IV: Days Run Away


Sunday, January 27, 2008

Mormons Are Nice

One day, Eric and I went to meet the Mormons.
The next day, Andrew and I went to Chillies and ordered non-alchoholic beer and nachos.


days run away_ thirds.mp3

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Friday, January 25, 2008


I have to brainstorm a personal narrative for my writing for media class.
I hate writing about the past and It'll probably call for that...unless I talk about that strange skin condition I had for a weekend.

Yesterday I bumped into Billy Joel outside my apartment building. He was quite small. I wasn't sure if it was him until I bumped into a mass of Billy fans, all holding copies of his records for him to sign. He passed through them and, when confronted to sign the records, pointed to his bodyguards and said "Blame Them."

And some other unfortunate things happened.

Tonight I go to Shabbat at Drexel. My friend Aviva invited me. I look forward to this as I've never attended any kind of Jewish Service in my life.

Today, 'Days Run Away VII: Not (Pending Title'

08 days run away viii_ not today.mp3
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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Available For Download: The Wolf And The Gatekeeper

My compliation album, The Wolf And The Gatekeeper, is available for download. Go to and you'll be able to download the entire record. It's zipped so you'll have know..unzip it.

For the sake of the album, the track, Bruce Banner is featured here on my blog (note: it's not part of the Days Run Away Series).
The compilaton record spans the Seven records that I've recorded since 2006.
Please download.
Leave feedback.

14 bruce banner.mp3
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Chelsea Recommended

I used sounds from space in response to my whale call recording (which I'll post soon). I decided to follow her recommendation and use Earth Whistlers and Choruses.

Whistlers: Whistlers are sferics that are dispersed even more than tweeks. The sound of a whistler is a musical descending tone that lasts for a second or more. Their dynamic spectra reveal a long sweeping arc that illustrates how the high frequencies arrive first, followed by lower ones.

I feel it turned out nicely. I miss Chelsea a good deal as well. The Recommendation was a refreshing thing. Tomorrow I re-start class with Keating. I do not look forward to it.

07 days run away vii_ chorus_whistlers.mp3
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Off To Sleep

I realize now that I never put track one of the Days Run Away series online. Here it is.
Tomorrow school starts. Recording class.
Mike, fellow musician, who is considerably more talented than I, will be attending said class with me.
Wish me luck.

days run away i_ old friends.mp3
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Monday, January 21, 2008


During winter break a forklift was driven into the Long Island Sound. I had nothing to do with this. Yesterday, I get a call that a kid I never respected, Fran Early IV, had told the police that I was the one who did it. He responded to a message I sent him today. In the message, I said I want my name cleared as I had nothing to do with this. He said that both he and I knew he didn't say these things. He also claimed that he knew I didn't. So if he knew that, he probably knows who did it (if he's so sure). My respect means nothing to him. I don't really care. I do not want to trace back an alibi but i will do so If necessary. He is not a good person and I say that rarely.

days run away vi_ arcade.mp3
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The point now

Is to focus any bit of my prolific energy into recording and/or hosting a new song each day. It may or may not correspond to the content of said written post.
I saw sunshine today and I couldn't find 20,000 leagues under the sea.

The cold (but not too dry) temperature of the day was attributed to polar winds.

I also saw Jarrett.

days run away v_ blue.mp3
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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Remember Me (?):LOGIN window

Always nervous to meet up with old friends, the two year time difference in this example was quite a stretch. Things were good. I've always enjoyed Aviva's company. She reaffirms my faith that the Jewish people are probably the greatest and strongest people out to the raeleans.

The color blue frequently repeats. Blue mirrors. The mirrors are not tinted so much as they're blue. Flash.
Can't imagine what the sky would look like in my dreams.
Roommate has returned.

days run away iii_ hall of blue mirrors (without the miserable blue flash).mp3
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008


I awoke from the same dream. The beast that I had loved with such strength now disgusted me, leaving me disgusted with myself. It was a large Whale-Shark in a shallow and murky pool. Surrounding the shark was what seemed to be various species of extinct sea life, none of which I was familiar with.
As if to mock the immobile creature, an ugly man dressed in a brown, custodian, jumpsuit was spraying it's dorsal fin with a hose. A friend had accompanied me here and I told her to film this. The ugly man was okay with being filmed. The Whale Shark was not.
Life reduced to a confinement hundreds of sizes too small to exist. I wanted to kick at the wall, hit something or throw something. I was confused now as to how it fed. The circumference of it's mouth was three fourths the size of a regular human. Though large and intimidating, the massive creature would coast along placid and relatively shallow ocean waters, mouth open, eating the plankton that came to it.
The friend at my side seemed just as unnerved by the experience. We soon found our way to another aquarium. Surrounding the building itself was a large moat and a drawbridge which was in the upright position.
Upon signaling a shadowy figuring standing towards the top of the building, a large rumble was heard. Within seconds of the rumbling, a large Fin Whale penetrated the once placid moat. At a length of 88 ft, it easily left us eclipsed by it's mass. There was a splash and nothing. The Drawbridge lowered and we entered.

A car.
Green van, different than the one my family drives (White) at home.
Packed as if soon to vacation, I was sitting with the same friend and my parents. My mother sat passenger to my father.
They spoke with smiles and no apprent fear. I could feel something different. A sharp change in a smile or their positions on the hands of the wheel. Something was different. This unshakable fear lead me to wondering why they had decided to take my friend out for a ride.

After what felt like an hour (the dream causes one's vision to blur and, though I checked the digital clock on the dashboard of the car, I could see nothing), we arrived at a christmas tree shop somewhere in north east Connecticut. Instead of parking, my father drove us to the side of a maintenance shed in the back of the store. I remembered taking note of the fact that there were few cars in the actual parking lot.
In the maintenance shed there was a door that lead underground.

The song below is 'Days Run Away II: Fin' by me, Seamus Stimpson/SwimmingpoolTheband.

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